The other day I was dropping my son off at school when I heard two moms arguing, loudly. One mom was in her car in front of mine, and the other was walking toward the school gate. Thankfully, my son was already on his way inside before tempers flared.
They went at it, shouting and gesturing. Accusations flew, until finally, one mom yelled, “Don’t make me cuss in front of the school!” After more heated words, and what sounded like profanity in another langugage, the conflict ended, and we disbursed.
If you ever hear yourself saying the words, “Don’t make me cuss in front of the school!” that is a CLUE for stress. Consider this:
1. Take Advantage of the Warning
Are you getting the message? You are having a moment of awareness that you are about to snap. Don’t let your stress or anger get the best of you. Heed the warning and pause before you do something you will regret. You might end up with more to stress about.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Choices
What choices are you making and modeling? Every person chooses their actions. Even if you are reacting to stress, that doesn’t mean you aren’t making choices. All of us choose how to act, what to say, how we say it, what to focus on, when to cooperate, when to resist, and what our self-talk is. Choose in a way that models responsibility for your children.
3. Take A Different Perspective
Do you have to be right? If you have to be right, you are caught up in your own ego. Come from understanding and empathy, and find ways to live in harmony with others. Still speak your truth. Worst case, you may agree to disagree, but take the high road to get there.
4. Take Control of Your Impulses
When else do you blame? The mom was giving away her power by blaming her adversary for prompting her profanity. Blaming puts you in victim mode, which often turns you into a victimizer. Victims often lash out verbally or physically against the people closest to them. In other words, I wouldn’t want to be that mom’s kid or spouse immediately after that altercation. Also, by blaming, you not only end up focusing on what you don’t want, you end up attracting more stress into your life.
5. Take a Time Out
Do you need a break? Not as punishment, but as a breather. Most people are running on fumes and are on the verge of a meltdown. When you take the time to fill yourself up first, you will be better able to care for others and deal with challenging and stressful situations more effectively.
So if you hear the words, “Don’t make me…” coming out of your mouth, it is actually a blessing. By being present enough to notice that it’s time for a shift in attitude, you can make life more peaceful and easy for yourself and your family.
If this was helpful or you have experienced a similar situation, please comment below and share this with your friends.
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